I used to tell myself, regret nothing because at one point it was something you wanted. However, I cannot help but regret so many of my past decisions. Besides the obvious horrible exboyfriends, and bad haircuts I truely regret having hurt so many people. I mostly regret hurting the one person in the world who's love I've never had to question. I also regret hurting my best friend, we may have had our moments but I completely screwed him all because of my stupid self indulgent lies.
My husband says he forgives me for what I did but to this day I still feel like nothing is the way it used to be. I feel like he won't leave me alone, he always has to know where I am and who I'm with. I guess thats just the curse of having cheated. I sometimes wish I had my old friends back. I miss them but everything is so different, and I don't know that I could handle the changes. I'm so impatient I don't know that I could wait to feel the same way I used to with them. I think maybe it's time to move on. Time to move on from my guilt, time to move on from feeling like I need certain people in my life, and also the delusions that they even miss me.
Showing posts with label lies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lies. Show all posts
Thursday, June 10, 2010
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