Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Mistakes Made, Never Forgotten

Its funny how one mistake can change your life forever.  One simple little action without thought can strip you of everything you hold dear.  I so badly want my old life back.  The fun times, the companionship.  I really miss everyone and everything.  My time and energy has been so wasted these past months because of how much I focus on the sadness.  I still don't even feel like the time has passed. The worst part is its not just one stupid mistake.  It was a bunch of mistakes leading up to one very big one.  I used to spend a lot of time treating people very badly and not thinking before reacting.  I kept getting away with it because it was such small petty stuff people just over looked it and forgave me.  Finally I just couldn't get away with it anymore.  I feel at this point even if they did somehow find a way to forgive me, it won't ever be forgotten.  Sometimes I loathe social networking because there are some of my old friends who my stupidness didn't affect however, because they are so much closer with those it did I barely talk to them.  I still cannot find it in me to delete them from my life.  My hope for friendship renewal is fading with every passing day, I'm getting older and its getting harder to find friends who aren't married or have kids.  Not that if I did find new friends I would miss my old friends any less.  They were a huge part of my life and always will be.

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